SEPT 2009

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February 07, 2007

This is the first part of my self-assessment based on Erikson's Stages of Personal And Social Development:

Stage: Infancy
Psychosocial Crisis: Basic Trust vs. Mistrust
Age : 0 - 1.5years old
Significant Relations: Mother/Maternal Surrogate
Contribution To Identity Formation: I am what I am given
Favorable Outcome: Inner drive and hope
Unfavorable Outcome: Fear

Potential Issues From The Infancy Stage:
1. Fear of Intimacy, because it could result in abandonment.
2. Need - but being afraid of - physical affection.
3. Continual need for oral gratification (eating, smoking, drinking).
4. Fear of acknowledging needs because of the fear that they will not be met.
5. Inability to trust even in trustworthy situations.

"I am what I am given" - I don't remember much from my infancy age.. But I heard stories from my mom and relatives. And today, I know much more about myself than anyone.
I have so much inner drive and hope but I am easily faltered w/ people I have trust with.
Potential Issue # 1: I love intimacy.. Yes, I was scared before. But there was a time in my life, but sometime last year.. I started to like and, then, to love intimacy.

Potential Issue # 2: Yes, I am afraid. High school, I would evade every girl's hand who would touch me to ask a question. I want to hug but I'm afraid to hug. But currently, I have reasons why I don't hug. :)

Potential Issue # 3: I don't drink.. But I smoke (1-3 sticks/week). If I'm not smoking, I'm either very "inip" (impatient) or I'm relaxing (while eating food or drinking lotsa water). I don't drink sodas. Just water, energy drinks and coffee. I'm a caffeine addict before. Right now, I'm regulating my coffee intake.

Potential Issue # 4: I say my needs. And I say my wants. I got a lot of wants right now. I know what I want.. I know who I want.. And, yes, I have the continual need to be admired. I want to receive attention. Anything bad/good about me, I want to hear it. I want to know it. I am curious about me.

Potential Issue # 5: Yep, at highschool. I wouldn't talk much or speak to anyone unless I'm spoken to. I want the person to take the initiative to introduce himself/herself. People have limits/boundaries. I can't make the jokes or talk about anything (which I am, I am a flexible person even though I don't show it; flexible but I have limits, too). Today, this is not applicable to me. I have outgrown it. I have the capability and I'm trusting too much to anyone I know especially towards the girl I love most. I am gullible to her. It is an error of my humanity but I feel so free when I trust her completely.

I may have problems from infancy. My mom and I are close but not that close. Everytime, my mom is near me, I feel weak and powerless. I feel so depressed. I just want her to be there but near me. I don't like her nagging.

(This is the end of: 1 of 7 parts. I will make the other parts tonight and later this week)

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