SEPT 2009

SEPT 2009
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February 07, 2007

Stage: Pre-School / Play Age
Psychosocial Crisis: Initiative vs. Guilt
Age: 3 - 5 years old
Significant Relations: Basic Family
Contribution To Identity Formation: I am what I imagine
Favorable Outcome: Purpose and Direction
Unfavorable Outcome: Unworthiness

Potential Issues From the Play Age:
1. Feeling awkward about your body.
2. Being highly critical of yourself - full of shame.
3. Using sex as the only way to feel close.
4. Being a perfectionist.
5. Having no tolerance for another's behavior.

My Reflection:

I dreamt to be a chemist. Someone who would discover remedies to the world's sicknesses. But I was just a kid then. Now, the subject annoys me. I was living in the province, then. Got my first PC. I was too young to have a computer but it was there. Tried to tinker with it but got in trouble. hehe.

Potential Issue # 1: I don't feel awkward with my body. This is me, a tall guy. But I feel awkward on why I don't have much hair. Some people call me a "sissy" but "hey, do you have baby skin?" hahahaha lol. I don't care about that comment.

Potential Issue # 2: Nah.. never experienced it.

Potential Issue # 3: Hmm... Partly. because it is human nature. Right now, sex is important. but i'm holding off for someone. Sex is a special thing. something sentimental for me.

Potential Issue # 4: Perfectionist.. When I was at HS, very very yes. hehehe.. I got obssessed with perfection. and I'll tell you what happened to me if you ask me if you can. Right now, perfection is an ideal; It is not reality. I am but the imperfected mind. My mind is so full of flaws. My mind so full of imperfection. My mind is human. I am human (with dignity).

Potential Issue # 5: I have tolerance for my selected few. I don't have tolerance when it comes to people who greatly piss me off or to whom I got angry at.

I don't have trouble identifying my feelings. I may have some interpersonal communication problems (coz I only socialize with the people I trust). Expressing my feelings, yes a bit hard when I have to tell the most real and most accurate feelings I have. Like the ones written on my blogs. Before, I have acted on guesses and unchecked assumptions. After a promise, I haven't acted anymore bases on those. A problem that comes from this age is also the responsibility for one's own personal unhappiness (you have a right to your own life)......... I just choose this way.. to not let go.. it makes me the most happiest and most unhappiest guy. I'm happy because I'm true to myself. I'm unhappy because she would (i prefer might) leave me soon.. But that is life is.. sometimes, nothing is permanent.. everything changes except change. (my addition: Everything changes but change and love)
I know my purpose. My direction is always stable.. but sometimes, there are ditches that I would fall in.. I would feel unworthy of love and/or life. But when I climb up those ditches, I continue to walk on the same direction despite I see the visible ditches along my way. I dare not change my direction to evade those ditches. That is me. My will power is just so immense.. when I find my purpose, I can't leave.

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