SEPT 2009

SEPT 2009
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February 07, 2007

Stage: School Age
Psychosocial Crisis: Industry vs. Inferiority
Age: 6 - 11 years old
Significant Relations: Family, Neighborhood and School
Contribution To Identity Formation: I am what I can do (I am capable)
Favorable Outcome: Method and Competence
Unfavorable Outcome: Incompetence

Potential Issues From the School Age:
1. Feeling self-conscious in social gatherings.
2. Inability to complete something you have started.
3. Not being able to attain professional goals.
4. Keeping yourself in debt so you never achieve financial stability.
5. Fear of public speaking.

I'll add this because this is one of the important stages of my life:
Index Of Supsicion:
1. Feel uncomfortable with social situation
2. Excessively competitive
3. Give in or have things your way
4. Have intense fear of making a mistake
5. Deficient in basic like skills
6. Have a lot of social shame

My Reflection:
From Grade School (GS) to High School (HS), I was always being tutored by my mom, by teachers and by tutorial schools. I don't know why. I was a slow learner. Now, I am adept at learning. Some people have called and categorized me as a late bloomer. My methods may be by the book and I am between competence and incompetence. But later, I found out it was just me. I changed for the better. I became more industrious.

Potential Issue # 1: Yes, I feel self-conscious especially with my skin color, people categorize me as a foreigner but I'm not. I don't want to feel foreign to the land where I was born and where I belong to. My height (6'1") tells people I must have played basketball but I don't. I play for fun but never have I played it to win. I feel self-conscious of my acne. But I always remind myself that there is always someone better/worse.

Potential Issue # 2: Yes, I can't complete the things I've started. From my projects to my assignments, from studying to my answers, I can't complete them... before I met her.
With her, I completed the projects, the poems, the things I've started... and I also edit them every now and then.

Potential Issue # 3: I don't know yet but I would be in one. I am still in college, I am studying to be in one. I want to be. My dream job is a job where I am interested on and I have fun working.

Potential Issue # 4: I am not in debt. I am only in debt with my parents whom have given so much love, understand and care to me.

Potential Issue # 5: I speak in public but my voice is a bit small. hehe

Index of Suspicion # 1: I don't feel uncomfortable just if I'm at the dark areas or when I'm with my friends. But I can go beyond that limit if I want to. I have done it with my YFC speeches when I was still active.

Index of Suspicion # 2: I'm not that competitive with others but my brothers. We would compete in grades (I've lost most of the time), muscles (hehe.. I've stopped because we had different body types) and I don't know what else we have competed on.

Index of Suspicion # 3: This is my question to myself right now "Do I give in and let go or have things go my way?" I don't want to give in because I'm so stubborn to give up. I don't want things to go my way because it would be selfish. I want not to give up and continue loving her.

Index of Suspicion # 4: Before, I had such an intense fear of making a mistake. And when I realized I'm human. I am not a god. I make mistakes. Right now, I make mistakes but not unnecessary ones.

Index of Suspicion # 5: None that I don't know of.

Index of Suspicion # 6: I don't have any social shame. Please refer to Index of Suspicion # 1 and Potential Issue # 1.

When I transferred to first grade (GS), I became shy and silent. I was scared of others. I didn't trust my classmates. I preferred being with adults and I felt that GS was a repeat of things everyday without the full consciousness of its students. Before I tranferred, I told my parents I didn't want to change schools (but it is for your education, they said). I would miss my 3 best friends. I still remember their names (Jim, Gromer, Cristina) but I don't know if they still know me. I was an active kid before I transferred. HS came and it took 2 years to be comfortable with my batchmates. And when college was there, I didn't want to go to college. Then, I don't know what course to choose. I wanted time for myself to reflect but I was given no chance. I was given college or work. How can I reflect when everyday I'll work? How stupid my parents can be?

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