SEPT 2009

SEPT 2009
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February 08, 2007

Stage: Early Adulthood
Psychosocial Crisis: Intimacy vs. Isolation
Age: 20 - 34 years old
Significant Relations: Partners in Friendship
Contribution To Identity Formation: We are what we love
Favorable Outcome: Affiliation and Love
Unfavorable Outcome: Promiscuity

I just started on my Early Adulthood stage. But I see myself where I am now and where I am soon. When the things and events would pass me by soon.. It would be the end of my intimacy. I just want to be faithful to be one person, that would be her, and nobody else. I am stupid but this is me. It would be a start of my isolation. We are what we love - I love her but I don't know if she loves me. I love her still. I love the girl of my dreams. I don't want to turn to another truth. There are endless truths in this world. I chose only one and I'll stick with it. It would be a hard turn and a hard journey loving someone who would not return but, in a way, it would be a good life for me because, for the rest of my life, I would be true to myself and to my heart. It is not a burden. It is a gift of love and a curse of pain. Just a curse, not a burden. My heart is in love.

Promiscuity >> meaning: (Encarta)
1. choosing carelessly or without discrimination
2. confusedly mixed: mixed in an indiscriminate or disorderly way (formal)

I am not confused. A part of me is at peace when I love her. I discriminate people but nothing towards her. Am I this trusting to anyone? Am I this faithful to anyone? Am I this devoted to anyone? No, Just her. In this world, She is the only one I trust completely (no matter how many mistakes she's done). She is the only one I am and I can be faithful to (no matter what). I am only this devoted to her. Because... do you need reasons? do you always believe in proofs? do you always believe in science? My love for and to her feels so innate. It seems it existed there before. I just realized it. I found myself again in loving her. Before, I would be faltered by other people.. But with her, I felt sure of myself. I found stability. I found comfort. I found my heart again. She fuels my stubbornness. She fuels my way of never giving up. She fuels me. Even though, she will stop loving me, I will not give up. I will always love her. Even though, She and I would never be together again, I will not give up. I will always love her. Even when I die, my last words and/or last breath is for her..

Maybe, my fault is I can't let go. My love for her overcomes me. You can call me stupid but I don't care about anything else but her. I still have so much years ahead of my life.. But no more lies to myself and/or to anyone else... I love her and that is all the truth there is in life and in the world. I love her. "Kaya kita." Promise. I love you, mayge..

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